Day 3 of myzenpen

Wednesday 24th March, so…interesting day today. Met the landlord of our new offices..turns out he’s a multi squillionaire land owner, 200 years of family ownership…nice. He likes to talk about it too. Likes the women too..myself and my boss’ wife had to watch him. Googled the guy and wow, scandalous !!! So that was fairly unexpected. Not sure we should rent from him though, might be icky. He holds massive swingers parties on his land… my psychic said I should expect many invitations..she also said I move house and change job so….maybe he has something to do with this. WATCH THIS SPACE. Ha!

So todays Zen thoughts were as follows….

I rock up to school today in a skirt and white vest. My normal attire is skinny jeans – and I’m not even skinny! – and a top. Wowsers, did those mothers stare and stare some more… It’s amazing how horribly comparative women can be. I don’t get it at all. Then I get to work to have my female colleague also comment on my skirt, in a not so nice way, more of a ‘ huh, so that’s how its gonna be’..kinda way. and I reasoned that, because I don’t plaster my life on social media sites and the nosey mothers can’t see what I’m doing in my life and then beat themselves up trying to keep up, they hate it. Absoltuely hate it. My little son shouted out at school that we were going to Cyprus..also not received well.. is it me or is it this town? Is it the county as a whole? Is it WARWICKSHIRE? Land of the competitively comparative? Or is it me? I wonder..

I’m an empath, it’s horrific. I feel everything about a million times worse than anyone else I know. This has 1 of 2 consequences…the first is that I get so tied up in my emotions that I do something stupid- happens ALOT. The second is that I let the emotion consume my every waking day and just collapse into myself and don’t want to communicate with anyone AT ALL. It’s terrible for my friendships. I find most of them DRAINING. I get tired just listening to peoples gripes and groans. I reason to stay away and keep myself to myself..then people think I’M the weird one…why do we have to all fit in and be sociable. I don’t mind a bit of chitter chatter but on my terms. If I don’t feel like talking to anyone, I should be allowed to be left alone right?

DRAINED>

 

NAMASTE xxx

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